10.21.2007

A Poem (by the Original Criquette)


"The Cat in the Hat" (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

"A stupid hat!
A stupid hat!
I do not like that stupid hat!
I do not like it, mean old bat, I do not like your stupid hat!"

"Will you pose, Miss Criquette Cat?
So I can take your picture in the hat?"



"I do not like to pose in hats,
I will not pose in this or that.
I will not pose on stairs or chairs,
I will not pose, not anywhere!"


"I do not want hats on my head,
I do not want them in the bed.


I do not want them in a boat,
I do not want them with a goat.

I do not want them here or there
--
I do not want them anywhere!"


"Would you? Could you?
In a tree? Try it on, you will agree!"


"I would not, could not in a tree.
Or anywhere else, bitch, let me be!"


"You do not like hats so you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say."



"I will not try the f****** hat!
I will not try on this or that!
Now go away, you let me be.

Or you will see how mean I'll be.
I'll claw the yarn, I'll shred the hat,
I'll scratch you up, cause I'm a cat.
Cats do not wear hand-knitted crap

now let me go and take my nap!

Before I kick some human butt,
go and try it on the mutt!"




The End

13 comments:

Nancy @ the Jersey Shore said...

Oh my goodness, that was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. And so true, especially the last stanza and picture of the evil eyes. Thank you for giving me the giggles before I log off tonite!

Channon said...

Bravo!! Clearly, you understand your pets. People laugh at me when I translate the dogs' silent communications, but you know better, don't you??

Lynn said...

ROTFL!! Ok as a cat lover and a Green Eggs and Ham lover, this is the best post ever!!!

Seriously.

Nichole said...

OMG, that was the best!!!!!!! LOVE it... and I think you should use both critter hat pics for your Xmas cards this year! ;-)

Faren said...

Cute, very cute!

BOSSY said...

Seuss-a-licious!

Dianne said...

What a hoot! Love the last picture of Criquette!

Sonya said...

Ok, that was just great. It made me laugh and laugh.. Maybe you have a new hobby to persue.

Jen said...

i noticed on your profile you're from nola. we lived on cherokee in uptown, and i miss audubon park every single day!

hilarious kitty pix! :-S

wildflower38 said...

I agree that you have your Christmas card pic

Camille said...

Isaac Mizrahi would take a pee on that hat.

Ciao bellas,

Mr. Lulu

Rhonda said...

TOOOOO Funny! I almost fell out of my chair I laughed so hard!!

Violiknit said...

You are brilliant!!!