"A stupid hat!
"The Cat in the Hat" (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)
A stupid hat!
I do not like that stupid hat!
I do not like it, mean old bat, I do not like your stupid hat!"
"Will you pose, Miss Criquette Cat?
So I can take your picture in the hat?"
"I do not like to pose in hats,
I will not pose in this or that.
I will not pose on stairs or chairs,
I will not pose, not anywhere!"
"I do not want hats on my head,
I do not want them in the bed.
I do not want them in a boat,
I do not want them with a goat.
I do not want them here or there --
I do not want them anywhere!"
"Would you? Could you?
In a tree? Try it on, you will agree!"
"I would not, could not in a tree.
Or anywhere else, bitch, let me be!"
"You do not like hats so you say.
Try it! Try it! And you may.
Try it and you may, I say."
"I will not try the f****** hat!
I will not try on this or that!
Now go away, you let me be.
Or you will see how mean I'll be.
I'll claw the yarn, I'll shred the hat,
I'll scratch you up, cause I'm a cat.
Cats do not wear hand-knitted crap
now let me go and take my nap!
Before I kick some human butt,
go and try it on the mutt!"